Reflections on Becoming a (Real) Grown Woman
Who Am I?
...is one of the most important questions every woman
asks herself. The answer frames every decision she makes.
If self has been abused or neglected, the question manifests in quiet and sometimes not so quiet and desperate ways.
When a girl becomes a woman, she wonders if she measures up to society's standards.
She asks herself - have I arrived or have I missed the mark? Have I settled for less? Put up with too much? Made too many mistakes? Been a victim for too long? Been too mean? Too Nice?
The ability of a woman to self-assess means recognizing the source of her broken places. Then doing the work to enter into true womanhood.
Low Self-Esteem: The Beauty Buster-upper
How many women are walking around carrying (and hiding) low self-esteem? The ways it shows up are as complex and unique as women are. We’re vulnerable in this world if not fiercely protected. Little girls are princesses who become big girls, and then women. Each stage needs attention, affection, and validation for a woman to truly be confident and comfortable in her skin.
A confident, whole woman received the message that she’s enough. She has everything she needs to stand next to anyone and shine. The woman who suffers from low-self esteem or emotional damage struggles to understand her worth. She’s trapped in the "little girl" stage of emotional development desperately seeking acceptance.
A national study done by dosomething.org determined 7 out of 10 girls believe they don’t measure up in their looks, relationships, and school performance. Shocking, but not shocking. It’s a rite of passage to go through stages of awkward insecurity. But many girls are emotionally held back well into their adult years.
The same study determined teen girls’ top wish was for "more frequent and open conversation" with their parents.
The connection is clear. Self-identity begins at home. It’s where we’re set up for what we experiences in life, and where we learn how to respond to life's ups and downs.
Rebirth Into Womanhood
How does a woman begin to heal? As one who suffered from low self-esteem in my young life, I allowed others' opinion of me keep me from living my best life. I had no clue who I was. Nobody told me.
I grew up in a house with both parents and a sibling, and left extremely broken...and lost. Learning to stand in my truth was a long, painful process. I wanted to be happy - to love myself as I was and look forward to what I could become.
I wanted to be great...to know my purpose. I didn't want to live or die by anyone's approval but my own - through the eyes of God. I realized my past wounds were festering and wreaking havoc on my present and my future.
It was through prayer for wholeness that I began to see my brokenness. I wanted a change. Once I saw my beauty as well as my ugliness, I came into my own. I accepted my beauty and worked on fixing the damaged, wounded part of myself.
Forgiving others was also important to move forward. Not for their freedom, but for mine.When your thoughts about yourself are healthy, you're free from the desire to impress. I fiercely protect my self-esteem against anyone who attempts to bring me down. I know, without any doubt, who I am.
When a woman struts with cool confidence, there’s nothing to keep her from her purpose. The female spirit is born with wings to soar to limitless heights. When it soars, it has the power to nurture, to heal, to comfort, to uplift, and to inspire.
Peace and Love
- When women begin to truly embrace and love themselves, together we'll elevate the next generation.